A Holy Mess

I was sitting by the window listening to the shehnai, the dhol, the ticking clock…time was flying.

‘When did I grow up? Or did I even grow up?’

‘Is this the right time?’  I do not want to take a wrong step. ‘Is this the right thing to do?’

I wanted to know. I was fretting.

I know I really feel the connection between Paras and me, but at this moment nothing feels right!

‘Is he really the one?’

The past few days had been hectic. The whole Arora house had become a mad house. Before each function there has to be some mess, like just a few hours back there was some issue with the dress’s fitting. Getting the right decorations is a task in itself and don’t even get me started on the drama created by some of the so-called well-wishers of the family.

‘Radhika! You’re ready?’ Said a calming voice, my mom was here. She wore delicate diamond jewellery along with a silk saree and a million-dollar smile.

She walked in towards me. She had a sparkle in her eyes!

I hugged her. I was about to cry but I chose to say nothing.

‘It’s time! We need to go now’

‘So, they’re here. Too late to run out of this chaos. I can’t even talk to Paras right now.’ I mumbled as I got up.

As I am walking through the corridor, I can see my sisters overwhelmed with joy, my brother, standing in a corner smiling at me with watery eyes… ‘are those tears?’

I can see my Nani. She took a sigh as if she’d seen the world and her job was done.

Every one was happy! My dad came and stood by me. He had the widest smile!

When I reached the mandap, there he was, Paras! That night I saw the most genuine and charming smile in this world.

When I saw my reflection in the glass decoration, I could see a woman…a woman ready for new beginnings.

Every one was joyous!

When everything seemed wrong in this holy chaos, that we also call ‘wedding’, seeing my parents, cousins, close friends and relatives standing by the mandap to witness this new chapter of my life with joy, seemed right.

It was joyous and chaotic at the same time!

Seeing everyone happy on my big day was all I’ve ever wanted!

I agree, I had been stressing way too much but turns out it was mere imbecility.

I was living in the moment; I was there in a room full of people high on energy, I could feel the positivity.

We did have some issues even with the music system that night, however it hardly made its presence feel, as I had learnt by then to find joy in this chaos!

The chaos of thoughts in my mind was all gone letting me deep into the ocean of joy.

~Rishita Sanya








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